Too Drunk To Dream

…ain’t no drinking when the bottle’s dry…

Damnit, LOST, I’ve got things to do….

Looks like my life’s on hold (again) for the next five months…. because LOST is back tonight (ABC, 8pm)

The popcorn’s ready, my phone’s gonna be shut off, the speakers turned wayyy up and the lights are gonna be out. There’s the no-talking rule, the no-bathroom rule, the no-computer rule, the no-“WTF?” rule, and the “save your conspiracy” rule. After MONTHS of lead-ins and anticipation, LOST’s season 5 premiere is tonight, and I’m gonna relish in it.

LOSTPEDIA.COM is the balls, because you need a website to keep track of it all.

And so begins another season of tropical cliffhangers, explosive deus ex machinas, shady plotlines and DVR rewinds brought to us by ABC. Here comes another 6 months of getting three questions answered and 43 more questions posed.

We’re all suckers. And we love it. It’s the reason we bother tuning in. We are our own sadists.
Sadists, we are, but since you little masochists have me held hostage until the season wraps in May…I have a few demands of my own….

Alright, they’re not demands, but a few questions….maybe?

So, when did I start feeling pity for Benjamin Linus? I mean, surely, he’s at the bottom of all of this, and the guy that’s after him, Charles Whidmore, must have a pretty damn good reason for doing so, right? I mean seriously, Ben’s not the victim here, right??

Ok, who are the “lawyers” that show up on Kate’s doorstep in the preview. Surely they’re not lawyers…but who’s pulling the strings? Whidmore? Or Ben Linus? Or that weird black man, Abbadon? It’s Ben right? Trying to get the skeptical Kate back to the Island… right??

Alright, I want to know IMMEDIATELY how John Locke ended up in that coffin. Ok?

…and I expect these three questions to be answered by the end of the opening credits, people, because by that time, I’ll already have eleventy other more important questions that I’ll need answered by the end of tonight’s episode.

Oh, and I’m so glad Jack’s seen shaving that awful drug-induced beard in the trailer…. so glad. That thing looked like a Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia pet, the pottery that grows!

oh, pt 2… LOST guys… can you install some sort of device in the corner of the screen that can tell me WHAT FRIGGIN’ TIME-SPACE CONTINUUM WE’RE IN? I GET CONFUSED… PAST-PRESENT-FUTURE…. SRSLY, THX ALOT.



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January 21, 2009 Posted by | abc, ben linus, charles whidmore, charles whitmore, ghost of electricity, jack and kate, jameson, kate and sawyer, lost, lostpedia, premiere, season 5, toodrunktodream | Leave a comment